By Catherine Clark Kroeger

How often we mistake God’s purposes for the family! All too often we paint an ideal picture without regard to the realistic accounts given in the Bible. Again and again, unfortunate family relationships are salvaged by the power and grace of God. Resolutions are reached not by covering up the reality but by engaging in constructive and God-honoring action. A case in point might be the story of the childless Tamar, a wronged widow in early Israel. Her husband Er had been “a wicked man in the Lord’s sight, so the Lord took his life” (Gen. 38:7).

            Upon the death of her husband, Hebrew law required that an effort be made to impregnate a widow by her brother-in-law in order that she might bear an heir to be raised as the son of her late husband. Therefore Judah, her father-in-law, instructed his next son Onan to carry out this obligation. Onan, however, was aware that if he should sire an heir for his dead brother, he would lose a sizable amount of his own inheritance to the lad. Instead of gaining two-thirds of his father’s estate as eldest surviving son, his portion would be reduced to merely one-quarter. Therefore, he refused to consummate the marriage, practicing coitus interruptus or as the text says, “Spilling his seed upon the ground.”

            The issue is not that of contraception nor even of masturbation, but rather of a willful refusal to provide for his dead brother’s widow—the deliberate withholding of that to which she is legally entitled. While men inherited land, women had the right to work the land and to derive their income from their own agricultural efforts. Without a son to hold the property rights, Tamar had no means of supporting herself. She had been deprived of the one means of livelihood rightfully hers.

            The aftermath of the story is swift and decisive. “The Lord considered it evil for Onan to deny a child to his dead brother. So the Lord took Onan’s life too” (vs. 10). He is slain by God because he has withheld from a widow her legal right and plunged her into a perilous situation. The biblical story appears to be an exemplary one. In a few other instances, someone is stricken dead upon the first occurrence of a particular form of evil and arrogant conduct that violates the holiness of God (Korah’s attempted violation of the sanctuary and its priesthood, Uzzah touching the Ark of the Covenant, and Ananias and Sapphira lying to the early Christian community). The event is a sobering one for a father who has now lost two sons.

            Under the pretext that he will arrange a marriage with the third brother when he is old enough, Judah sends Tamar back to her father’s household although he has no intention of fulfilling his promise. Again Tamar is wronged. She can live under her father’s roof as long as he survives, but her future thereafter is very uncertain when she will have no access to land nor a son to comfort and support her in her old age.

            By now, fully aware that she has no hope of marriage to the third son, Tamar contrives to disguise herself as a prostitute and attract the interest of Judah as he passes along the road. In exchange for her services, Judah promises a goat and leaves his seal, its cord and a walking stick as guarantee of payment. The messenger who brings back the goat can find no trace of the prostitute nor of the seal, cord or staff.

            When Judah subsequently learns that his daughter-in-law has played the harlot and is now pregnant, he plans to execute her. When he calls her for judgment, she reveals to him the articles given to her by the man whose child she carries. Judah recognizes his own belongings and acknowledges that Tamar has acted appropriately to redress the wrong that has been done to her by Judah and his sons. He declares, “She is more righteous than I am, because I didn’t arrange for her to marry my son Shelah” (v. 26). Abuse sometimes consists in withholding what should properly be granted, and now Judah has come to see that he has permitted a seriously unrighteous situation to exist.

            The wronged woman has been declared more righteous than Judah from whom the Messiah will be descended. Indeed, it will be her son Perez who is named in Matthew’s genealogy of the Savior: “Judah was the father of Perez and Zerah (whose mother was Tamar). Perez was the father of Hezron” (Matt. 1:3). Ultimately, this story tells us of God’s abhorrence of the abuse of women and of His approbation of those seek to right the wrongs.

            It is no mistake that the name of Tamar is read out in our churches at Christmas time. Her vindication is part of our Savior’s heritage.