By Cathy Holtmann

            At the RAVE Project, we are excited about the development of “The Dating Game,” designed especially for youth pastors and teens to learn about issues related to teen dating violence. Soon, members of youth groups in churches throughout the country will be able to actively engage with the lives of teen characters like Athletic Bob or Handsome Harry and Musical Mary or Sensitive Sally and others as they go on a date. Teens can choose to navigate their characters through a variety of relationship scenarios that include going for pizza, volunteering at a soup kitchen or text messaging. Young women and men playing this online game can score points when they identify healthy and unhealthy relationship patterns, as well as when they identify ways in which they can respond to negative relationship factors in more positive ways. In addition to working on the skills needed for healthy dating relationships, teens can also help their online characters to change! Teens can get to know Athletic Bob or Sensitive Sally by becoming friends with them on My Space or Facebook. While playing “The Dating Game” at their church youth group meeting, adolescents can use cell phones to text message Handsome Harry or Musical Mary with advice on how they can improve their self-esteem or engage in less controlling behaviors. 

            For adolescents and teens in North America, the social pressure to have a dating relationship is intense. Yet the context of dating and dating behaviors vary widely by age and gender. While at ages 12 and 13 they may be going on “group dates” and attending school dances, by ages 15 and 16 they may be going on “couple dates.” Abuse and violence occur in dating relationships at all ages; in fact, it parallels adult violence in that it exists on a continuum from verbal and emotional abuse to sexual assault and murder. There are a variety of social factors that may contribute to teen dating violence, such as:

• Sexism and violence in the media,
• Gender role stereotyping, and
• Aspects of student lifestyles. 

Contributing individual factors may include:

• Jealousy,
• Anger,
• Alcohol and drug abuse,
• Witnessing domestic violence in family,
• Experiences of child abuse,
• Aggressive personalities,
• Coercion and domination, and
• Limited social support. 

The consequences of experiencing violence in a dating relationship are long lasting and may include damage to self-esteem, confidence and sense of safety, a negative affect on development and functioning, and, importantly, increasing risk for experiencing or perpetrating further violence in future relationships.

            Teens are not likely to tell their parents about experiences of teen dating violence, and most parents do not believe their children are at risk for being victims or perpetrators.  When surveyed, the majority of teens think that dating aggression is never justified, yet they seem to have a higher tolerance for female aggression. 

• Research in New Brunswick, Canada, done in 2004 shows that 38% of teens in school have experienced some form of dating violence, while 47% report that they have witnessed dating violence in the past month. 
• Research in the province of Ontario in 2008 shows an increase in sexual harassment and assault of girls in schools (National Post, February 2008). 
• The Alabama Coalition Against Domestic Violence reports that a survey of 500 young women, ages 15 to 24, found that 60% were currently involved in an ongoing abusive relationship and all participants had experienced violence in a dating relationship (Bureau of Justice Special Report: Intimate Partner Violence, May 2000).

            A 2004 study conducted by the Creating Peaceful Learning Environments research team at the Muriel McQueen Ferguson Centre for Family Violence Research of the effectiveness of teen dating violence prevention programs in New Brunswick has shown that while teens are becoming increasingly aware of the prevalence of teen dating violence, they lack the communication and intervention skills that would enable them to address or correct abusive behaviors.  Schools, community agencies and churches need to work together in order to close this gap between information and action.

            It is our hope that we can help churches reach out to teens in families of faith in order to gain some of the skills they need to prevent abusive relationships through the interactive nature of the RAVE Dating Game. People involved in pilot tests with church youth groups at our Charlotte, North Carolina, site in September have shown great enthusiasm for this new development. For more information on teen dating violence and the forthcoming RAVE Dating Game, please visit the RAVE website.

Cathy Holtmann, MDiv., is a graduate research assistant with The RAVE Project and an MA student in the Department of Sociology at the University of New Brunswick.