Resources

In this short essay, I raise two particular questions concerning the interface between religion and domestic violence: the first focuses on religious victims, the second on religious perpetrators. For almost 15 years, I have been intrigued by the story of what happens when religious people look to their faith communities for help in the aftermath of violence in the family context. For many religious victims, their faith sustains them through long periods of domestic crisis: it empowers them to ultimately flee their abuser and to seek refuge and safety where they begin a new life free of abuse (Nason-Clark and Kroeger 2004). There are others who are not so fortunate: they are consumed by the “sacred silence” on the issue, never finding spiritual or practical support that would enable them to leave the fear or the reality of violence behind (Nason-Clark 1997). As a result, there are many layers we need to unravel as we seek to understand the complex relationship between faith, violence, and family ties. I begin with a brief look at the prevalence of violence against women in families of faith and conclude my essay with several theoretical questions requiring further analysis.

Despite ongoing domestic abuse and an attempt by her husband to hire a hit man to take her life, Jamie Stonier has seen God work miracles.

Through a strange turn of events, that one might expect to read in a chilling novel, FBI agents learned of her husband’s plans and set up a sting operation that resulted in his arrest. Federal agents captured on video tape her husband outlining possible scenarios in which his wife might be murdered.

A storm of changes followed- Jamie and her two young sons suddenly found themselves needing housing, transportation, food, legal advice, and support from family, friends and their church community. As a Christian Jamie knew she could bring her needs to God, and to ask for help dealing with the fear and anger and pain that she felt so strongly.

As she wrestled though her circumstances, Jamie became aware of other women who suffered in the aftermath of domestic abuse and violence, and, together with another woman, became a catalyst in the formation of a support group called Hagar Sisters, who meets on a monthly basis in the Boston-Metro area.